When “I Used to Be Able To” Gets in the Way of Moving Today

I'm happy to welcome Emmely Christiansen, founder of Wellness by Emmely, as this week's guest writer. Emmely brings training in nutrition, yoga, mindfulness, and coaching, along with her own lived experience of chronic conditions. "I used to be able to" is something I hear often, and I asked her to share this piece because she meets that feeling with honesty and a few practical questions you can start using today.

By Emmely Christiansen

You put on your shoes and think about going for a walk.

Then the comparison begins.

You used to walk farther. You used to take the hills without thinking about them. You used to come home pleasantly tired, rather than wondering how much energy you would have left for the rest of the day.

Suddenly, the walk available to you today feels too small to bother with.

When your body changes, movement can become tangled up with memories, expectations, and a sense of who you used to be. Whether those changes involve chronic illness, pain, injury, or shifting capacity as you get older, it can be difficult to stop measuring today against a version of yourself from years ago.

But what if that comparison is making it harder to find movement that feels worthwhile now?

When movement becomes a reminder of what has changed

Movement has always been something I enjoyed. I’ve tried many different sports and activities, and I love the feeling of my body working: the strength, the movement, and being able to explore what it can do.

Living with multiple chronic conditions has changed what my body can manage. Pain, fatigue, strong reactions to physical activity, and mobility limitations now influence decisions that once felt simple.

The desire to do things is still there. My capacity does not always match it.

That gap can be painful.

You might recognize it when friends suggest an outing and your first thoughts are about walking distances, stairs, seating, and how you will feel afterward. Or when an activity you once enjoyed now needs more preparation, more support, or a different format.

Sometimes, the hardest part is what those adjustments seem to say about you.

Am I becoming less independent?

Am I still an active person?

If I cannot do it the way I used to, does it count?

Those questions deserve kindness. Having to adapt something that matters to you can involve real grief. You do not have to pretend that a shorter walk feels exactly the same as the hike you miss.

You can miss what has changed and still make room for what is possible today.

Look beneath the activity

One question I find useful is:

What did this activity give me that I still want in my life?

Perhaps walking gave you quiet time outdoors. Dancing brought joy and connection. Gardening gave you a sense of creativity and something to care for. Strength training helped you feel capable and confident.

The activity matters, but so does the experience within it.

When you identify that experience, you may find more than one way to access it.

If you miss long countryside walks, perhaps being outdoors remains meaningful even when the route is shorter, flatter, or includes somewhere to sit.

If gardening has become difficult, a few pots at a comfortable height might offer a way to keep growing things.

If you miss the social side of an exercise class, a suitable adapted class might help you reconnect with that part of your life.

These possibilities will look different for each person. Some may not fit your circumstances at all. The point is to explore what you value before deciding what an activity must look like.

Begin with awareness before adjustment

There is plenty of advice telling us to move more. There is often less space to consider what movement asks of a particular body.

For someone living with pain or fatigue, an activity happens within a whole day. There may also be shopping, cooking, work, appointments, or caring responsibilities.

Something can be manageable in the moment and still leave too little capacity for everything else.

This is why I return to the phrase awareness before adjustment in my work at Wellness by Emmely.

Before deciding what to change, it can help to notice:

• What else is asking for my energy today?

• What happens during this activity, afterward, and the following day?

• Which part feels difficult: the movement itself, the duration, the environment, or getting there?

• What support or adjustment could make it more manageable?

You do not need to turn every movement into a tracking exercise. A few observations may be enough to help you understand why something works on one day and feels difficult on another.

If you live with a health condition or changing symptoms, a doctor or physiotherapist can help you identify appropriate activities and adaptations for your circumstances.

Give yourself permission to stop before proving anything

When you remember being able to do more, it can be tempting to keep going just to reassure yourself that you still can.

I understand that impulse. It can feel like reclaiming a part of yourself.

But movement does not have to become a test of whether you are still the person you used to be.

You are allowed to take the shorter route. To use a mobility aid. To sit down. To adapt an activity even when other people do not understand why.

You are also allowed to have days when rest takes priority.

An adjustment does not have to lead to doing more next week. Sometimes its value is that it lets you keep participating at a level your body can manage.

Choose a goal that belongs to your life now

“Get back to where I was” is an understandable wish. It can also leave you feeling permanently behind.

A goal connected to your current life may give you something more useful to work toward.

Perhaps you want to enjoy time outdoors, feel more comfortable with everyday tasks, or take part in an activity with someone you love. Perhaps you want support to explore movement without feeling pressured to keep up.

Those goals have meaning beyond distance, speed, or repetitions.

Your history with movement is part of you. The adventures, skills, and experiences still belong to you, even when your body needs a different approach.

The next time “I used to be able to” appears, you might gently add another question:

What would help me take part in my life today?

You do not have to know the answer immediately. It is simply a place to begin.

About the Author

Emmely Christiansen is the founder of Wellness by Emmely. Drawing on her background in teaching, her training in nutrition, yoga, mindfulness, and coaching, and her lived experience of multiple chronic conditions, she supports women in understanding their energy and building sustainable routines. Her approach begins with awareness, self-trust, and working with the body you have. Learn more at wellnessbyemmely.com.

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